When the universe calls you to exactly what you need…

I had never heard of Iboga. I thought about attending an ayahuasca retreat but in these circumstances it was not feasible. I met Milton at Baljalla. Kind man, helping me find some tools for my bedside table project. Later on that day we shared a conversation about how I’ve been struggling with my brain…. It feels blocked. My ADHD is off the charts. Getting medication here is a struggle, let alone getting properly diagnosed for the specific one I would need. I would also prefer not to take pharmaceuticals.

He starts telling me about Rapéh (which ironically I had already purchased but was not educated by them on how to use properly). Then he tells me about Iboga, used for addiction and a “reset”. It stimulates an increase in neurotrophic factors such as GDNF and BDNF, influencing key neurotransmitter systems including serotonin, dopamine, and glutamate. These changes can shift cortical brainwave activity in ways associated with enhanced neuroplasticity and cellular repair. My mind is now very curious…

The next day I scroll past a post on FB by a friend I have not been in touch with for many years regarding her experience with Ibogaine. I gotta talk to her. After hearing how impactful it was for not only her but her husband and father in law, I was driven to try to seek this out, but the clinic they attended is in Cancun, a long wait and very expensive - 15K.

I see Milton again in the kitchen a few days later. I ask him more about this… turns out his teacher is doing a retreat in Baja in a few weeks. However it is still pricey for my current circumstances. I message her and connect for more details regardless.

After the call I explore avenues to find a way. My efforts were thwarted. It's too much considering my current position. 

It’s getting very close to the dates now and I do not want to have her miss an opportunity to fill the spot. I thank her for her patience but politely decline, advising her it's not financially feasible. That sucked.

The next day, she sends me a note → Still come! That she feels it is good for me to go. There’s something deeper beyond the funding of it all that is the sole contract of recognizing what I need and providing it for me.

She points out that I’ve already decided to go, she’s correct. The medicine starts when you commit. The timing and location all align. We will come up with a payment structure.

Whoa - what did I just hear?! Can this be real - a lady who’s never even met me physically is extending a very generous solution - that is the universe screaming at me - I gotta get to Valle de Guadalupe in 6 days.

Tuesday - T minus 1 day - Flight booked, travel to and from Cabo arranged. Ruby care coordinated. Iboga prep book printed and bound. There are a lot of deep questions to be filled out. I am unmoored on how to even answer some of them. I’m overwhelmed (this came fast) and I’m scared as hell! Doesn’t help that my Dad is unsupportive and fearful. Call Dad, tell him that he needs to meet me and match my energy, embrace my intention and better understanding of how this medicine works. I promise I won’t have a heart attack or come out fucked up. He gets it and somewhat hesitantly agrees. The rest of the day is spent chilling and conversing with my friend Kahdeen - this dude is one of the most (if not most) sagacious, grounded, equanimous humans I’ve ever met 🖤 

Wednesday - 4 am wake up. I still have not started the prep book - I'll do it on the plane. Shower, take Ruby to the beach, finish packing - headed to Cabo by 9:30. I am calm. I’m excited not only for this journey but to meet Ixchel in person. And see Milton, and hug both of them. 1.5 hour drive down the coast from Cabo to Valle De Guadalupe, great conversations! Wow - this property is stunning. My room is beautiful. Gifts waiting on the bed - a journal, pen, incense and a parrot feather (red). These are extremely significant to the Bwiti.

This is your home for the next five days. Fridge is full, loads of great snacks, tacos being brought for dinner and let us know anything else you want or need throughout. I feel very grateful, safe, well cared for and loved.